|
Computers
& Technology
Tech Bytes
. The
1101 Days of Christmas
If you find a new
brand-name PC under your tree this Christmas,
you may end up
wishing you found a local dealer ... Did you drop some
hints for a new PC this Christmas? ... With the
Christmas season comes the prospect of some pretty big gifts. And if
you've been nice instead of naughty, you may just find a new PC under your tree
Christmas morning. But before you begin to unpack it, there are a few
things to consider. {If you'd like to find out how you can migrate your
old stuff to your new PC with varying degrees of ease and success, check out
this month's Computer Tutor: Migrating to a New PC.}
 Plug
'n' Play rarely does, especially if you decide to skip over the instructions
and just start plugging in cords and flipping switches. Read the stuff
that comes with your PC, even though it's not on your monitor, but in
printed form. It's an ancient technology, but still a useful one.
.
Don't
plug in everything at once. If you got some extra goodies to go with
your new PC -- like maybe a USB printer or a new re-writable CD burner, or
{especially} a new joystick or other game device -- hold off on plugging
them in until after you've had the PC up and running. Then, assuming
all goes well, you can save the configuration that booted ok before you
start to plug all the peripherals in. That way, just in case one of
them decides to hang up your system, you can simply unplug it and revert
back to the earlier configuration.
. If
your PC came from a brand-name outfit, odds are you'll end up with a load of
software you not only don't need, but may never even find. Lots of
house name PC's come burdened with tons of software -- sometimes including
more than one title that'll basically do the same thing, like let you work
with images or sounds, or get on the net. Do yourself and your new PC
a favor and get rid of most of that garbage. It's only there because
the software makers have paid your PC maker to put it there. ...
BUT, before you do, back up your system just in case. Sometimes, those
little rascals get so tied into the registry and other settings that your PC
may hiccup after you remove them. If you want to be safe, you can
always call tech support and wait for an hour or so to talk with someone
who'll tell you if they can be removed safely ... assuming the tech at the
other end actually knows the answer.
. Finally,
do yourself and your family a big favor: Don't try to set it up on
Christmas Day. There'll be time for set up and some test drives in
the days and weeks ahead. And if you do run into any glitches, you
won't turn Christmas into a nightmare when you go obsessive-compulsive
trying to solve them.
If you're not convinced by now, then we invite you to read
on. ... Below is a little something from DownStreet's brand
new TechBytes Holiday Songbook, a collection we've been working on to
help you get through the holidays. We're as hooked as anyone on PC's and
what they can do. But we heartily suggest you sing this song before you
start tearing into that new box and all its contents. ... Ok?
Ok ... And whatever you do, have a Merry Christmas !! The
1101 Days of Christmas
from the new TechBytes
Holiday Songbook
{For
a list of other holiday songs, click here.} | {
Sung to the the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas} On
the first day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
... A hot new
brand-name PC
On the second day of Christmas
I unpacked my PC
...
Two hours later
... I had Plug'd 'n' Play'd my brand-new PC
On
the third day of Christmas
I loaded up for free
... Three new games
...
Two office suites
... And a few thousand new MP3's
On the fourth
day of Christmas
I turned on my PC
... It booted slow
... It
locked up
... I shut it down
... So I re-booted my new PC
On
the fifth day of Christmas
I came back just to see
... ... If it
was done ...
... But it didn't boot and
... So I phoned support
and
... Listened to the menu
... To get help for my brand-new PC
On
the sixth day of Christmas
Tech finally spoke to me
... What is the
problem?
... ... I do not know ...
... Have you tried
rebooting?
... Yes, I tried it three times.
... Did you install
software?
... 'Cause if so the problem's not the PC?
On the
seventh day of Christmas
The tech explained to me
... That I had
four options
... None of which I liked much
... ... And I said so
...
... But it didn't matter
... That is not our problem
... That
is what he told me
... So I packed up my brand-new PC
On the
eighth day of Christmas
I shipped out my PC
... Eighty-seven dollars
...
Next-day air it cost me
... So I went back home to
... ... My old
PC ...
... It had booted quickly
... So I got to work and
...
Didn't have a problem
... With my trusty if older PC
On the
ninth day of Christmas
Tech support called me
... We've got a
problem
... Your unit's dying
... We cannot revive it
... We
tried all we know but
... ... There's not much hope ...
...
Here's what we propose then
... We'll send you a new one
... It'll
come in four weeks
... Unless, of course, you pay C.O.D.
On the
tenth day of Christmas
The shipment came for me
... Two-hundred
dollars
... That is what it cost me
... So I called support back
...
But they changed the menu
... It was now not toll-free
... ... So
I hung up ...
... Then I called them back but
... I was put on
hold and
... Waited for three hours
... So I gave up recouping the
fee.
On the eleventh day of Christmas
I got the new PC
... Eleven
hours later
... I was still hard at it
... but I finally managed
...
So I turned it on and
... Heard a noise inside it
... Like some
metal grinding
... ... Oh, don't tell me!?! ...
... Then I
smelled the smoke and
... Next I saw the flames so
... Tossed it out
the window
... And it smoldered next to a pine tree
On the
twelfth day of Christmas
my true love said to me
... I can't believe
it
... Eleven days have passed now
... Ten since you started
...
Nine since you used it
... Eight since the problems
... Seven since
you phoned them
... Six since you got them
... ... Five since
they said ...
... That you had four options
... Then pronounced
it dead and
... Charged you for your trouble
... How this saves time
I really don't see. |
The
new
TechBytes Holiday Songbook
also
includes tunes like | The
First Novell
O! UPS, Please Take It Back
Gigahertz Can Make You
Jolly
Hark! This Hard-Drive Doesn't Spin
It Came Upon a Bandwidth
Slow
What File Is This?
God Help Me with My New PC
Joy on the
Web
Good Thing SP3 Came Out
O! Fatal Byte
Away with a Notebook
Windows
from the Realms of Redmond
Go Throw It Off the Mountain
Absent
Light
Here We Come A-SoundBlasting
Lo! How a Latent Packet
O!
Burned CD That Will Not Play
These Three Things You Should Have Done
First | *******
*******
and many, many more
*******
.
*******
*** Order your copy
now *** |
... *******
******* If you would like to submit
a feature for our Computers & Tech section, don't hesitate to let us
know. Simply e-mail us at comptech@downstreetmagazine.com.
The e-mail should contain your name, address, and a phone number where we can
reach you. You may also send a copy of your proposed article. The
text can either be included in the body of the e-mail, or you can send it as an
attachment in just about any word processing format. If your piece is
accepted, we will pay a small honorarium for your interest & your
time. [See Freelancers
Wanted for more details.] *******
******* If you would like to advertise in this
section, or throughout the magazine, please visit our Advertising
Info Pages ... or call, write, or e-mail ads@downstreetmagazine.com. *******
*******.
|
