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A Paranoiac's Guide Ok. So I wrote something like this last year. But back then, DownStreet reached less than 250 households, and now, it reaches about 2,000. So, for those who missed it last time around, trust me, you want to do whatever you can to avoid winter driving hassles. ... It's not news: With the holidays coming on, lots of you will take to the road to visit family or friends. If it was 4th of July weekend, fine. Then the roads might be crowded, but they probably wouldn't be dangerous. But winter driving? Winter driving is a whole other story. ... What does winter driving mean? How's about roads slicked up by snow and ice. That's bad enough. But then there are those idiots on the road who haven't even put their snow tires on and now, they're fishtailing from lane to lane, floating in front of your windshield like some some slow-motion dance of death. And then there're the infinite possibilities -- the flat or blowout, running out of gas, the thermostat that won't open, or the radiator that springs a leak. In summer, so what!?! All that would simply be a pain in the biscuit. But in winter, it could easily be a whole lot worse. So, what should you do to make the best of a potentially disastrous situation? ... We'll skip the usual stuff -- like changing over to your winter tires, checking your antifreeze and running a pressure test on your cooling system. If you need to be reminded about that kind of stuff, do us all a favor and stay off the road. Forget
what you learned ... If you're old enough, then, when you started to drive, one of the first things you probably learned was to steer in the direction of the skid. Back then, it worked. Now, not so much. ... Why? Because your car's been turned around on you while you were thinking about other things. ... Odds are, your engine's drive train doesn't run to the back any more, does it? That means your rear wheels aren't pushing you along the road; your front wheels are pulling you. So, cars today -- with engines in front and front wheel drive -- have reversed the old equation. Steer in the direction of the skid no longer applies The good news is, with front wheel drive and an engine and drive-train over the wheels, the car is potentially a lot easier to deal with in the snow, assuming you could deal with the old equation in the first place. On the other hand, when it comes to ice, there's very little that makes any difference. And don't think you're immune with your SUV. Four-wheel drive is as useless as anything else on ice. So watch those road conditions, especially that insidious and invisible demon -- Black Ice. ... Ok? Ok. ... So what else do you need to know? The
Long Trip ... What do you need to be prepared? Be sure to have the basics, like a jack and a spare. But also put together a couple of small boxes for the trunk -- one with flares, some salt or a little sand, and, preferably, some tire chains; the other with some non-perishable food, a [space] blanket or two, or maybe even a decent sleeping bag. If you get stuck in the city somewhere, no big deal. But if you're out on the Thruway, half-way between here and Buffalo, and the car dies, it could get to be a long night, one that you'll remember for a long time if you're not prepared. Besides, it won't hurt to have some extra weight over those back wheels, not to mention something to eat. You might even want to consider some hot chocolate, a partially filled water jug {so that when it turns to ice, you won't find it empty or broken}, and a small camp stove with a little fuel. {Try to steer clear of any notion of stashing whiskey back there. It'll only make you feel colder.} What? You've got a cell phone? That's great. Then help is just a call away. ... But remember what that commercial said: "It's not customer service until somebody picks up the phone." So you can call AAA or a local garage. But if nobody answers, swallow your pride and call 911 if you have to. Spare me ... Many -- way too many -- newer cars gave up on the idea of a spare tire. Instead, they replaced it with something resembling a stale Dunkin' Donut ... an under-sized tire that'll probably get you where you're going, but not in any good time. And if you've never had to try driving on one of those things in less-than-perfect winter conditions, consider yourself fortunate. Better yet, though: If you haven't already sprung for the cash and replaced that damnable donut with a real tire, pry open your wallet and do it. What else? Of course, that'll mean a whole other set of things to consider and prepare for. But that's a problem you can whine to Ann Landers about, not me. Besides, I have to go. It's snowing and I've gotta check those boxes in the trunk of my car and my spare.
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