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AutoMotives: A Paranoiac's Guide to Buying a Used Car Ed. Note: This makes three in a row for our paranoiac. December's Paranoiac's Guide to Winter Driving seemed to strike a chord with at least some folks, and last month's Guide to Auto Defects stirred some, so we again invited our paranoiac {who, obviously, prefers to remain anonymous} to give us his take this month on Buying a Used Car. The Used Car Salesman was once a cultural archetype. Shrewd, chatty, with a studied friendliness, the archetype of the Used Car Salesman was probably what put Willie Loman out of work. ... But, alas, the Used Car Salesman has become a dinosaur. There are no more used cars for sale ... only 'previously owned vehicles'. Nonetheless, if you are in the market for a car that isn't fresh off the showroom floor -- whether you're planning on buying from a lot or a private owner -- there are a few things to keep in mind, unless, of course, you've got money to burn. And be advised: We're going to buck the trend and refer to them as used cars anyway. ... Of course, a lot of this will depend on what kind of money you're out to spend. But for now, we'll just assume a couple of things, like you're not going to bring an arsenal of tools with you, and you'd like to get the most car for the least bucks. ... Ok? Ok. ... Now, what to do first? The Rules: The first rule of thumb for any good paranoiac, whether out to buy a used car or anything else, is the old saw:
The second rule is also pretty simple:
The third rule is a little more complicated. The source of the complication can be just about anything -- ranging from ignorance, to greed, to unrealistic expectations. Simply put, it goes something like this:
So armed with these three rules, you're ready to begin. ... Before You Start It Up ...
Don't Kick the Tires, Check Them: There's really not a lot to know about the tires themselves. Either they're cheap knock-off's or the real deal. And either they have tread on them or they don't. ... But if you inspect the tires, they can tell you something about other, more important things. So do just that: Look at the tires ... carefully. What are you looking for? Mostly, uneven tread wear. If the insides or outsides are worn more than the middle, or vice versa, that can tell you more than any kick. Not only that, but there's less chance of injuring yourself in the process. Uneven wear can have several causes -- from something benign, like a failure to have the wheels balanced regularly, to something more potentially costly, like a front end that's been whacked. But even the failure to have the wheels balanced tells you something about how the car has been cared for. Leaks Underneath: Puddles of oil or antifreeze are potential signs of trouble, even if they're small. Oil on the ground could mean a seal is leaking, or something considerably worse. Antifreeze down there can mean something as simple as a loose hose clamp, or, again, something worse. Try to figure out where it's coming from. But keep in mind this simple fact: On a city or village street, or even in a rural driveway if the family has more than one car, what you're seeing may not even be from the vehicle you're looking at. Don't jump to conclusions, reach them logically. And if you can't reach a conclusion, then don't. Misinformation is worse that provisional information. Check the Oil: Also before you start the rig, take a look at the oil. Nothing will cream an otherwise good engine with a long life ahead of it quicker than the failure to do regular oil changes. ... These days, unless it's being driven under very hard conditions, an engine should run for at least 100,000-plus miles without a hitch. More often than not, you can reasonably expect at least half again that much from it. But postpone those oil changes for a few thousand extra miles and you'll be lucky to get to 60-70,000. Change the oil only every 10k, and you may as well empty the oil out and run it that way. If it's a private sale, the dipstick might tell you something, as will any stray oil that's found its way out and around the engine. Of course, odds are, if you're on a lot, the oil will be fresh, and the engine itself will probably have been steam-cleaned. The same could hold true for a private sale. But either way, it doesn't hurt to check. Blackened oil on the dipstick doesn't necessarily mean it's a no-go. Feel it. Smell it. If you smell something sweet {antifreeze}, or the oil is gummy {too long between changes}, watch out. If it's simply dirty, ask when the last oil change was, who did it, and if there are any records. As for oil on the engine itself? Oil near the top probably means a valve cover gasket is leaking. Oil down lower can simply be relatively more oil leaking from the valve cover gasket ... or something worse. Try to isolate the source, though that's not always possible. Also, if there's a noticeable bit of oil, look for spray patterns. That fan, especially on hot summer days when the oil thins out, can spread a simple valve cover gasket leak pretty far. But if the oil is more pooled the further down it goes, or if it's dripping from the bottom, take care. ... Finally, unscrew the nut for the air filter and housing and check inside. Is the air filter clean? Is it noticeably more blackened on the outside or the inside? near the intake or by the hoses coming from the vacuum lines or PCV? Finally, is there any oil sprayed around the carb or, worse, pooled in the bottom of the air filter pan? If so, you'll probably want to think twice. One more thought before I go for now ... Nothing, and I mean nothing, is an absolute prohibition when it comes to buying a used car. For example, when one of the kids started driving, we spent $200 on an old Pontiac LE with oil obviously pooled up around the air filter. Why? Two reasons. ... First, winter was coming and we wanted the kid to have a tank, not because we were worried about his driving, but because it seemed like the best measure for the sake of defensive driving for someone new on the road. Second, because winter was coming, we didn't want to risk a better rig for his first solo test runs on winter roads. But third, and most important, since we all knew {including the genuinely honest seller} that he'd be needing to clean the air filter housing and feed this thing oil regularly, he learned to take care of the car as part of the routine experience of driving. So, no car is out of the question. The only real question we're trying to answer here is what to look for in a used car, and, within reason, what to pay attention to and pay when you think you've found what you're looking for. Ok. That's it for now. ...
Questions? Let me know.
I'll be happy to try and answer them next time around. The
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