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House & Home
Home. Peace, quiet, solitude. Deep in winter, we naturally turn inward. But more times than not, our quiet is disturbed by demands of our household. You’re staring at dishes or bills to pay, listening to Dan Rather reporting, or your children fighting over a toy neither really wants … or answering the phone … again. It’s hard to satisfy the very real need for being still when your everyday, hectic life is in your face. A
week-long or even weekend retreat would be nice.
Or a little tea house in the back yard.
Or even a room set aside just to stop and think or dream, or simply take
a few deep breaths. But in real life you may have to settle for a corner or a
closet. That’s ok.
You can create a quiet space for yourself as long as you can take a deep
breath and take the phone off the hook. Location:
Find
a place as private as possible. Maybe
it really is a closet that you can empty. There
may be a spot near the window that no one in the family uses when you want to.
Can you move the unfolded laundry or the old National
Geographics or the dissembled computer that your son has been about to put
together since 1998? Once you
find the spot, claim it, clear it, announce it.
It’s yours.
Separation:
Ideally
there are walls and a door. But if
not, you can create privacy by symbolic walls.
There are folding screens {look for these at garage sales or you can
build them with wood frames, sheets and hinges}.
You can set these out to define your space and put them away when
you’re done. Or you can hang
curtains made of tablecloths, blankets, fabric, etc.
Groupings of plants can also define and enhance your space.
So can a rug or mat. A
focal point:
In the Japanese Tea Ceremony the guests walk along a garden path before
entering the teahouse. This is a
symbolic journey from the everyday world to the “sacred” one.
Having something on which to focus your attention each time you enter
your space allows you to take this same journey. Many people and cultures create altars -- a table with
precious things: photos, gifts from
loved ones, objects with meaning. Candles
also can lead you to an inner world. {See
last month's article on "Candlelight."}
For some people, a window that frames a soothing view can be a doorway to
quiet. Directing your attention to
this point of focus, whichever you choose, can still your mind and help you let
go of the endless worries, instructions, plans, and reruns that make up the
chatter in our heads. Quieting
the five senses:
You will want to soothe your senses, but not deprive them. Soft lights, candles or oil lamps can alter the space and
offer calm. If you can’t clear
stuff to make an empty space, using different tones of one color can create an
uncluttered effect. Scents are a
direct route to your emotions. Scented
candles, essential oil on a porous stone, even scented soap can relax you.
Scents like lavender, sandalwood, frankincense, neroli, chamomile and
rose are calming Softness and warmth also calm the senses.
If you don’t have a security blanket, it’s time to find one.
Maybe your eighteen year old’s baby blanket or your grandmother’s
patchwork quilt have been waiting patiently to be liberated from storage.
For tastebuds, some people like a glass of wine or cup of tea.
Buy or claim a special cup or glass that you can keep in your space. Finally, the right music can draw your attention inward or
free your imagination. It can drown
out the noises of your household or the traffic or the neighbor’s dog, so you
can come back to yourself and to the moment.
Simple
Ritual. Ritual is the way
we make transitions. If you
think you don’t use rituals, then try doing your morning tasks differently
tomorrow, or put your clothes on in a different order or dare to change your
child’s (or spouse’s) bedtime routine.
When you come into your quiet space, you need to change more than your
location. You need to know you are
stepping out of ordinary time for the moment.
A ritual that you can repeat each time can help.
Maybe it’s simply lighting the lamp or pouring the hot tea.
Or opening a wooden box. Maybe
doodling in a sketchbook. Or
opening the curtains or closing them.
The box, the book, the lamp, the cup are carefully chosen and beautiful.
Let them reflect what’s inside you in some way.
When we give space in our homes to a particular function or activity, we acknowledge its importance. Meals get their own space. Sleeping, watching TV, bathing ... all rate their own space. If you long for breathing space in your life, you can create it in your home. In "Danse Russe," poet William Carlos
Williams declares, If
when my wife is sleeping and
the baby and Kathleen are
sleeping and
the sun is a flame-white disc in
silken mists above
shining trees,- if
I in my north room dance
naked… Who
shall say I am not the
happy genius of my household? Peace, quiet, solitude ... even the joy of dancing alone. ... They can become synonymous with Home. . * This is an online book. Written in 1906, it describes the Japanese tea ceremony, its history, and the formal rules that guide it. . ******* ******* If you would like to submit something for our House & Home section, don't hesitate to let us know. Simply e-mail us at house@downstreetmagazine.com. The e-mail should contain your name, address, and a phone number where we can reach you. You may also send a copy of your proposed article. The text can either be included in the body of the e-mail, or you can send it as an attachment in just about any word processing format. If your piece is accepted, we will pay a small honorarium for your interest & your time. [See Freelancers Wanted for more details.] ******* ******* If you would like to advertise in this section, or throughout the magazine, please visit our Advertising Info Pages ... or call, write, or e-mail ads@downstreetmagazine.com. ******* ******* |
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